Scars Bring Pain, Tears That Love
by SakuShitsuoLover
Summary: Izaya is worried about his brothers obsession with self harm and Shizuo is concerned about Izaya's health. Izaya and Shizuo hen hear a rumor and tell his brothers never to talk to them and Shizuo tell his brothers to stay away from them and Roppi started cutting again. Will Izaya make up with Shizuo for his brothers sake, or will Roppi dies before he gets a chance?


**So, I decided to write another story. But don't worry, this one won't affect my other story, The Way To Love. In this one, Izaya, Hachimenroppi, and Psyche are brothers, and Shizuo, Tsukishima and Tsugaru are brother and with a love conflict that started from childhood friends to worst enemies because of one misunderstanding. Let's say, Roppi and Psyche replace Kururi and Mairu in this Fanfic, and Tsuki and Tsugaru replace Kasuka.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara, the characters or the alters.**

**Warning: Later, will be smut. Not now, but later.**

* * *

Izaya was playing with his younger brothers while his parents worked like always. When his parent's got home, everything would be normal, they'd be a happy family, but what didn't make sense, was how the boys were themselves. They loved each other, that would make sense because since they were triplets, they have that sort of bond. Izaya being the eldest, he made sure he looked after his brothers while his parent's being out. He was an excellent student in school, and didn't have any friends besides a son of a doctor, and three brothers. Roppi, being the second wasn't much of a talker. When he was younger, he wouldn't leave Izaya's side and he cried a lot, and Izaya felt he needed to take care of Roppi, since he was overly emotional. Now, being thirteen, he distanced himself from his brother, afraid that somehow he was a burden, but no matter how much Izaya told him he wasn't, he would never believe him. Psyche, being the youngest, was the one that Izaya loved yet disliked sometimes. Psyche was bubbly and cute and always had a smile on his face, yet whenever he got hurt or someone hurt his feelings, he'd cry. He would cry and Izaya would try to make him feel better, yet it would take such a long time that he'd attempt to give up, but he wasn't like that, he'd make sacrifices. They were different than other boys, they had unique personalities. Psyche liked music, Izaya liked people and Roppi didn't like anything, not even himself.

"Izaya-nii, he did it again!" Psyche cried and Izaya looked up from his book at his brother who was running in the room crying. Izaya groaned and threw his book down before going to attend his wounds. Roppi was deeply depressed and Izaya was occupied on his book, which gave Roppi the opportunity to cut himself again. He ran into Roppi's room and saw him sitting there, bleeding all over his carpet.

"Roppi, I told you not to," Izaya said and Psyche had grabbed the first-aid kit that was under Izaya's bed and got the bandages.

"I know, b-but I had to," he said, not looking at Izaya in the eyes, which were glazy and he didn't seem to be focusing. Izaya saw this, looked around, and saw the bottle of pills on the floor and his heart throbbed.

"Oh my god, Psyche call an ambulance!" Izaya called and Izaya pulled out his cell phone and called, sounding worried. Izaya knew this was going to end Roppi's secret, because he never told his parent's he cut himself, but now he would have too. Psyche went to the door to wait for the paramedics and when they came they got into the ambulance with Roppi as they tried to keep him alive. They asked if he had attempted suicide before and he shook his head and said that he only cuts himself.

* * *

Izaya knew he had to contact his parent's and that's exactly what he did, and when his mother came she hugged both Izaya and Psyche. She was concerned about Roppi and they knew that.

"Izaya, thank god you're so responsible and noticed, that this was happening. I know you didn't want to tell us Roppi was cutting himself, but we already knew," his father said and Izaya nodded and he was just thinking about Roppi. What is he would never go home? What if Roppi died and they couldn't save him? It would be his fault for noticing late.

"Izaya-nii, I got you some juice," Psyche said, smiling even thought his brother was in the hospital. Izaya knew he was worried, but he was trying to smiled to make him and his parent's happy. Psyche was so considerate that it made Izaya sort or jealous that he could smile in such a situation.

"Thank you." He said and held it in his hands while he thought about what Roppi's condition might be. He was 13, and he tried to take care of them by himself, and failed. It was his fault Roppi was hospitalized and it made him want to cry.

"Psyche? Izaya?" they heard and looked up to see Tsukishima and Tsugaru. He looked over at Psyche.

"You called them?" he asked and he shook his head. Then, he noticed Shizuo wasn't there.

"What happened to Shizuo this time?" he asked and Tsugaru sighed.

"He tried throwing a vending machine and broke his arm in three places and dislocated his shoulder," he said and Izaya sighed before standing up.

"Mom, dad, can we go see Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked and they nodded, saying they'll call him when news on Roppi will arrive.

"Where's Roppi? Is he sick?" Tsukishima asked and Izaya shook his head.

"He tried killing himself," Izaya said and the four boys stopped in the hall. They knew that Roppi was sometimes sad, but they didn't think he would attempt to end his life. Especially Tsuki since he was usually happy around him.

"What? Wait until Shizuo find out, he's not going to be happy. But, you know, It could happen to Shizuo sooner or later since he gets really upset whenever his strength takes over," Tsuki said and Izaya sighed. His best friend and his brother were broken, and it hurt him, a lot. He didn't know why, but hearing that made him start crying and they were shocked. Neither of the boys expected Izaya to cry like that. Psyche hugged Izaya, he felt his warm tears going through his shirt and his body trembling from his uncontrollable sobs. He was sad, he was embarrassed, all he could do was grasp onto Psyche desperately, crying away 2 years of agony that was held into him.

Izaya sat there next to Shizuo's bed and wiped his eyes. Shizuo looked at him and sighed.

"Izaya, I'd never do that," Shizuo said and Izaya looked at him, and started crying again. He hadn't cried in a very long time so he was going to cry for a while. Shizuo sat there and watched him suspiciously. He wanted to hug Izaya and make all his worries go away, but he couldn't. If he knew that Izaya was going to be like this, he wouldn't have thrown that vending machine at that guy.

"I-I don't believe you Shizu-chan! That's exactly what Roppi-chan said and he did that to himself!" Izaya cried and Shizuo knew he couldn't sit up so he told Izaya to come closer near his good arm and Izaya went close to him and waited. Shizuo stared at him while Izaya silently sobbed, then out, of nowhere, he slapped him. Soft enough not to injure him, but hard enough to make his stop crying.

"W-why'd you do that?" Izaya asked, rubbing his cheek that was, at first stinging then started tingling. Shizuo huffed out air.

"You needed to shut up for a damn second. Now Izaya, Roppi is sad because he feels no one loves him. You try too hard to show him love but he's afraid to get close with the thought of losing you. You understand that right?" he asked and Izaya nodded. This was probably the first smart thing Shizuo said and Izaya smiled.

"I see, thanks Shizu-chan, and never hit me again, that really hurt," he said rubbing his cheek and pouting. It didn't really but Shizuo smiled at him and apologized. Mrs. Heiwajima walked in moments later and frowned at Shizuo.

"Shizuo, you need to stop hurting yourself, these medical bills are starting to be a burden and I can't afford them and you know that," Shizuo's mother said. Izaya knew that Shizuo's family was somewhat poor, a average middle class family. But, ever since his father cheated on his mom, they got a divorce and she tried doing things on her own. Tsugaru and Tsukishima were perfectly fine, but it was Shizuo who was upset about it.

"I'm sorry mom, he said something about you, and I was angry," Mrs. Heiwajima was a beautiful woman, and Izaya knew that she was having trouble and it hurt him that he couldn't do anything.

"Um, Mrs. Heiwajima, I could ask my parents if they can pay the hospital bill. I don't think they'll mind," Izaya said and he rubbed Izaya's hair and hugged him.

"I appreciate that Izaya-kun, but I don't think it'll be okay if I take money from your parents," she said and he pouted before trying to convince her, but she just wouldn't break. His parents were very helpful people, and they were pretty wealthy. He gave up and his cell phone rang and he answered it.

"Izaya, Roppi's fine, he'll be home in a couple of days. He will be seeing a therapist and then he will be in a suicidal confrontation group and maybe, you should go too," she said and Izaya frowned.

"No mom, I'm fine," he said, knowing that he had his share of scars, but stopped because he had to take responsibility. He understood that, yes, he thought about committing suicide, but when he saw Roppi cutting himself that day, he looked in his eyes, and immediately saw himself, and the way Roppi looked when Izaya walked into his room was what hurt the most. He smiled in Izaya's face, and said that it felt better than anything that could've helped him. Izaya bandaged him with all these guilty thoughts and never touched his flick blade ever since then. He felt that maybe Roppi thought since that was how he was coping with his pain, then he could do it too, and Izaya didn't need that on his conscious. So he stopped for Roppi's sake, hoping that maybe it would help him stop too, but it didn't. He was as broken as Roppi and he knew so, but for Roppi's sake, he went one year without cutting, just to watch Roppi's physical scars heal, but his emotional ones still bleeding out the sad and pitiful thoughts that roamed inside the young boy. Izaya sighed and left Shizuo's hospital room and he felt sick. He rubbed his stomach and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He was sick with himself, sick with his thoughts. He just needed some kind of comfort item and he knew exactly where it is. It was so close, yet so far. He felt tears stream down his face as he cried uncontrollably. He didn't know what to do, not at all. Yet, he knew that the blade siting in his desk drawer was going to make its way in his life away even if he wanted it too or not. Maybe if he continued, Roppi would catch him, and then it would fix him. Izaya smiled at this plan, and told himself the only reason he was going to cut was to save Roppi.

* * *

Izaya held it in his hands that night. His parent's brought him and Psyche home and went back to the hospital. Psyche was silently sleeping and Izaya was sitting on his bed with the knife in his hands. The object felt so familiar, yet so different that he could find that same feeling he had when he used to do it. He bit his lip and brought the knife to his wrist before taking it away. _This is for Roppi, I have to do it. _He told himself and brought it to his wrist again and then took it away. He just couldn't do it and discarded the knife across his bed, finding himself glancing at it and grabbing it again and placing it closely at his wrist and then closing his eyes before hearing his door open and he was startled to see his father standing in the doorway. He father wondered why Izaya looked so startled and then he saw the knife. He gave Izaya that look he gave him 2 years ago.

"You'll be going to that consolation program with Roppi," he said and Izaya jumped up.

"I wasn't going to do it! I couldn't dad… I wanted to, for Roppi's sake, maybe if he saw me cutting maybe he'd stop," he said and his father looked at him.

"Izaya, why do you think of stupid things? Roppi won't stop if you hurt yourself. Roppi is just severely depressed. I know you want to help your brother, but what you have to do is nothing for now. Just go to sleep and don't think about Roppi. You have school tomorrow. Can't you see Psyche is sleeping and you should too," his father said and Izaya looked back at the knife.

"Are you sure Roppi's going to be okay?" he asked, wiping the tears from his face and his dad hugged him. Izaya gripped his father's shirt, sobbing into his chest. He had cried a lot that day, and it shocked everyone that Izaya was showing emotion to someone's feelings for a chance. It was such a heartbreaking sight that he didn't want to leave Izaya alone, just in case he tried again. Izaya asked him not to tell his mom but of course he was going to have to. Izaya drifted off to sleep and his father kissed his head and left.

* * *

"_Izaya, Roppi, he killed himself today, I guess I was wrong, you did need to help him," Izaya's father said and Izaya's heart stopped. What was happening, he just told me that Roppi was fine. How could this happen!? Izaya started panicking and then he turned to sleep Psyche, Tsukishima and Tsugaru holding knifes, slicing marked up and down their arms and Izaya was horrified and looked back._

_ "Izaya, you should've cut for Roppi, maybe he's be okay. I'm cutting for Roppi, see Izaya, see," Tsugaru held out his gashed arms and Izaya stepped back. This can't be happening, where's Roppi? Is he dead? D-did he die because of me? Izaya saw Psyche smiling at him._

_ "Look Izaya-nii, I drew a picture for Roppi, I'll bleed for Roppi Izaya-nii, like Roppi bleed for me," Psyche said, his adorable voice fading out as more and more blood poured out of his arms._

_ "Psyche! Tsuki, Tsugaru!" Izaya yelled but it was as if they couldn't hear him. He started running, and he looked back to see people running after him, holding knives and a trail of blood running down the hall, splattered everywhere. Izaya started screaming Shizuo's name unconsciously and ran even faster, but their chants could be heard._

_ "BLEED FOR ROPI IZAYA. CUT FOR ROPPI IZAYA." He chanted like mindless zombies and Izaya was never so scared in his life. _

_ "Shizu-chan! Help me!" he yelled and ran into a room and closed the door to see the brunette sitting there._

_ "Izaya, I knew you wouldn't do it, I knew you would listen," he said, not looking at him. Izaya slowly approached him and smiled._

_ "Yeah, I did," he said and then Shizuo turned around, holding a knife and smiling, his arms and legs bleeding, and Izaya screamed._

_ "Well cut for Roppi Izaya, cut for Roppi. You love Roppi Izaya, cut for him, bleed for him!" Shizuo said and Izaya backed into a corner and the rest of them came in, approaching him slowly, chanting._

_ "BLEED FOR ROPPI IZAYA! CUT FOR ROPPI!" They chanted and Izaya tried drowning them out, but it got louder and louder and louder._

_ "No, no, leave me alone!" he screamed and the closed it and he started screaming._

* * *

Izaya woke up screaming in fear, and his parents ran in. He was crying and he looked around to see he was in his room.

"Izaya, what's wrong? What happened?" his mother asked and Izaya shook his head. He couldn't take it anymore, he was feeling so guilty and it was killing him.

"I-I , I… I can't take it, I can't… I can't," he said and started crying and his parent's looked concerned.

"Izaya, you need help," he said and Izaya nodded.

"I'll go, I don't care, as long as Roppi stops, then I'll be fine." Izaya said, remembering that dream and looked at his knife and looked away. He looked at it as if it were a monster, something horrible. _I will never touch you again…_ He thought and if only that were true.

* * *

**And here's the new story! This is indeed a love story, but this is what starts it. I hope you enjoyed it!**


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